The lucky ones need only change their e-mail address or return goods they did not order. At worst, however, cyberstalking victims end up with a ruined reputation or a plundered bank account.

Cyberstalking takes many forms. And the abuse of personal data on the internet to play tricks on people or exert pressure on them is growing, experts say. Cultivation of one's web image and more careful use of personal data can help prevent trouble, however.

A general term used by lawyers and law enforcement authorities for internet offences, cyberstalking is "an artificial concept" that still lacks a precise definition, explained Berlin lawyer Ulrich Schulte am Huelse. Basically, it covers the various ways people are harassed and stalked via the internet.

The risk of victimization rises with the frequency of internet use, experts say.

German police have no statistics on cyberstalking. "It's probably on the increase. We don't keep a record of offences under this heading," said Frank Scheulen, spokesman for North Rhine-Westphalia's State Office of Criminal Investigation, in Dusseldorf.

"As the new media grow and spread, it stands to reason that cyberstalking is growing as well," remarked Professor Harald Dressing, a member of the Mannheim-based Central Institute of Mental Health.

The consequences include personal affronts along with practical problems. "Using other people's names, cyberstalkers buy and sell goods in online and mail-order transactions. They publish harassing homepages and blogs, and commit punishable offenses," Scheulen noted.

He said that sending unwanted e-mails was also common, as was the unauthorized publication or manipulation of photographs or purported statements with suggestive content by the victim.

Most cases of cyberstalking are due to the careless use of personal data on the internet. Victims should notify the police as soon as it occurs, Scheulen said.

"Then the police can trace the perpetrator through the internet service provider and IP address," he added.

If the police have been notified, a warning, cease-and-desist order and damages claim have a good chance of success, noted Schulte am Huelse, who recommended that victims document cyberstalking from the beginning in preparation for legal action.

Careful use of the internet and personal data helps prevent cyberstalking. "Don't reveal personal information such as hobbies or preferences," Scheulen advised. Most importantly, telephone numbers, addresses and names should not be published in chat rooms, he said, because "you don't know who's lurking in the web and to what use the data will be put."

Dressing said that users of social and business networking websites should only allow friends and acquaintances to access their personal profile. After all, he pointed out, no one runs around the centre of town wearing a sign showing their personal data.

ORIGINAL

Labels: anxiety, cyberharassment, cyberstalker, cyberstalking, defamation, fear, personal data, slander

Getting Known Through Anonymity

Much has been said lately about how anonymity on the internet "disinhibits" people. Feeling relatively safe with their real-world identity hidden, they say and do things they otherwise wouldn't normally say or do in "real life." In some cases, that seems to be a good thing. People may be more honest, open, generous, and helpful. In other cases, however, the nasty side of a person gets unleased.

I'd like to give a slightly different spin to this "disinhibition through anonymity" concept. My basic premise is this: NO ONE WANTS TO BE COMPLETELY ANONYMOUS. No one wants to be totally invisible, with no name or identity or presence or interpersonal impact at all. Everyone wants and needs to express some aspect of who they are, to have others acknowledge and react to some aspect of their identity. In some cases, it's a benign feature of who you are. In some cases, not.

Anonymity on the internet allows people to set aside some aspects of their identity in order to safely express others. Snerts need someone to react to and affirm their offensive behavior. This need is a bit different than simply catharting their frustrated drives, as the "eros-ridden" idea suggests. Snerts are trying to express some unresolved and warded-off feature of their troubled identity in an (often desperate) attempt to have it acknowledged. Unfortunately, they do it in a way that abuses other people. Under ideal conditions, they may be able to accept and work through those inner feelings and self-concepts that torture them. If not, they will continue to vent that ooze through their online snert identities, while safely dissociating it from their "real world" identity.

Does greater anonymity result in greater deviance? It's an interesting question. Because greater anonymity usually is associated with less accountability for one's actions, the answer would seem to be "yes." (snipped)

The higher prevalence of misbehavior among anonymous users may be more than just a "disinhibiting" effect. Rather than the anonymity simply "releasing" the nasty side of a person, the person may experience the anonymity - the lack of an identity - as toxic. Feeling frustrated about not being known or having a place in the group, the new user acts out that frustration in an antisocial manner. They need to feel that they have SOME kind of impact on others. It's not unlike the ignored child who starts acting "bad" in order to acquire attention from the parent, even if it's scolding and punishment. The squeakiest wheel. Humans, being humans, will almost always choose a connection to others over no connection at all, even if that connection is a negative one. Some snert guests may think (perhaps unconsciously) that their misbehavior is a justified retaliation against a community that they feel has stripped away their identity and alienated them. They reject because they feel rejected.

In rare cases, people who are well known in the community may become the trouble-makers. Social psychology has demonstrated that people with power and status often have "idiosyncrasy credit" - they are given a bit more leeway in violating some of the less critical rules of the community.


http://users.rider.edu/~suler/psycyber/badboys.html

Labels: anger, anonymous, bullies, cyberbully, cyberpaths, harm, hate, psychopath, slander, smear campaign, sociopath, trolls

“Cyber bullying” is a new term that seems to be a household phrase that is infiltrating many homes with teenagers and young children. While it is important to discuss preventative ways to deter these actions, it’s also important to understand why there has been such an extensive rise of cyber bullying.

Traditional bullying occurs in the classroom or on school grounds, but technologically savvy kids are taking their unsettling words to the Internet through email, MySpace, Facebook, other websites and text and instant messages. Cyber bullies are posting disturbing messages, videos and images of their contacts onto the web where millions of other people can see. Cyber bullies can also remain anonymous on websites and through email messages so the increase of bullies on the web is also rising.

The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention noticed a rise in cyber bullying. In 2000, only nine percent of kids ages 10 to 17 experienced this type of bullying. The percentage has now reached 50 percent for 2008. Another study shows that 64 percent of the teens that said they were the victim of cyber bullying were never bullied at school. There are a few reasons why this rate has increased so much. This age bracket is becoming more technologically savvy as a result of entertainment and their other interests going online. Schools are also teaching students how to use the Internet to acquire help with projects and homework. Social media groups also let these kids create a profile about themselves and easy ways to communicate with others.

i-SAFE Inc., a worldwide leader in Internet safety education, conducted a study to prove the rise of cyber bullying. Their conclusions showed that: 53 percent of the 1500 student surveyed have admitted to saying something mean or hurtful to a person through the Internet; 42 percent of those surveyed have experienced bullying online; and 58 percent of those surveyed have had someone say something hurtful to them online. Even more alarming, 58 percent never told their parents about their experienced with being bullied online.

While it may seem like a simple solution to prevent cyber bullying is to take away all computer privileges, many of today’s kids use these websites and Internet tools as another way of socializing. MySpace cyber bullying is a popular mode because bullies can post hateful information on another person’s profile page or on their own page, or a bully can create a separate profile just about bullying this particular person. Facebook cyber bullying is similar to MySpace cyber bullying because they can create fake identities or create a page with the sole purpose of bullying another person. Twitter is another social media network that is adding to the rise of cyber bullying. A user can “follow” another person to post status updates or send mean messages. Users can also post links to websites about cyber bulling as “helpful” how-to guides.

In extreme cases, kids are learning how to create their own websites, free of charge, to target a while site about bullying individuals. The person gains acceptance with their group of friends because they are humiliating the other person for everyone to see. Then, the bully will use MySpace, Facebook or Twitter to spread the word about additions to their hateful website.

Access to the Internet is also increasing. Local small businesses are offering free wireless Internet access for their customers as a marketing tool to increase their sales. Cell phones offer quick and simple access to the Internet. The Internet is offered in school libraries and classrooms for school work and educational tools. If your child is not allowed on the web while they are at home, of course they are going to find alternative ways to stay connected.

Some social media websites require the child’s email address and password to gain access into their account. This limits the ability for a parent to monitor their navigation through certain sites and some parents just aren’t involved enough to be concerned with what is going on over the internet. Without an open level of communication between child and parent, there may be another life your child is leading without you even knowing.

ORIGINAL

Labels: cyberbully, cyberstalking, defamation, emotional abuse, hurt, libel, slander, smear campaign

WHEN THEY ATTACK
by Kathy Krajco

(We have replaced the word narcissists with predators for clarity)

Professionals often say that predators "overreact" to the merest unintended slights and that they fly into a rage for the slightest reason. But this view seems anthropomorphic to me. I suspect it comes from forgetting that the predator on your couch is a pathological liar.

The truth is that predators attack for no reason. In fact, they are prompted to attack by anti-reasons.

Of course the predator on your couch says he did it in self defense! He whines that the victim said or did something to slight him or anger his tender, tender feelings. Were you born yesterday? predator = pathological liar. So, why do you expect him to confess to you that he is a predator = one who attacks any vulnerable target of opportunity?

I would hate to admit how long it took me to discover this, but in my experience, what triggers a predator Attack is nothing but a vulnerable target of opportunity.

Test predators. Parade bait before them when the coast looks clear so that the narc thinks later it will just be his word against the victim's. Then watch what happens.

You can push his Attack button by having the victim be very vulnerable, like say by showing great affection for the predator and giving a heartfelt plea for some in return. (Rather like a man I knew who asked a predator to marry him and got eviscerated for it.)

How does the predator react to what should evoke his love and affection? With a savage attack, that's how. Rather like any wild predator when you ring the dinner bell for it by giving it a swipe at a defenseless creature's soft underbelly.

Except that natural predators must be hungry at the time.

On second thought, I guess predators have to be hungry, too. But they always are. For, they have the kind of hunger that increases the more you feed it.

So much for the theory that predators are just too touchy. They ain't touchy at all.

Test that too. Indeed, try to provoke a predator. You can't. Go ahead, try.

The only way to get yourself a raging predator is to tempt it with defenseless bait when it thinks no one is watching.

Now that you have your predator raging, do one more thing. Have the victim rise up rage right back it its face.

Guess what happens? Presto chango! Rage off!

Instead of a raging predator, you now have a poor little meek and gentle angel who wouldn't hurt a fly and is heartbroken at the victim being so nasty.

Welcome to The Twilight Zone. I call this miraculous phenomenon "The Transfiguration."

I am not exaggerating. You witness the instantaneous substitution of one persona for its very antithesis in the blink of an eye. You don't know whether to pinch yourself or start throwing holy water at it. Because an Academy Award winner couldn't do that that fast.

It stuns you and gives you the creeps. Indeed, one facial expression doesn't melt into the other: the whole mask changes at once.

I call a predator's faces "masks" because when you see this happen you know that's what they are. You know that what's on the face is a lie. It's the Big Chill.

A stunning revelation. The predator's very face is a lie about what is really going on in the darkness behind that mask.

When [Predators] Attack
~~~~~~~~~~

EXAMPLES OF PATHOLOGICAL RAGE ATTACKS FROM OUR OWN PREVIOUSLY EXPOSED PREDATORS (please read):

EXAMPLE ONE

EXAMPLE TWO

EXAMPLE THREE

EXAMPLE FOUR

EXAMPLE FIVE
~~~~~~~~~~~

Starve the Vampire
by Sandra Brown, MA Author of "Women Who Love Psychopaths"

(with some minor additions - EOPC)

Pathological persons (such as CYBERPATHS) are energy and emotional vampires. They live off of your emotional content.

Part of their personality deficit is the lack of a stable and consistent inner core of a self concept so they need constant attention, distraction, and identity management from which they draw their identity.

Lots of their identity is acquired from their relationships since internally there is so little core self to draw from. This is part of the reason they are so exhausting.

In order to get their emotional 'blood supply' from you, they 'hook you' into conversations, arguments, or any other kind of response they can get from you. They live vicariously through your own emotional expressions of love, frustration, confusion, etc.

It doesn't always matter 'what' emotion is fed to the vampire (although narcissists like adoration) but just that there is SOME content is enough for them -- even your tears, or your screams, or your insults. It doesn't matter... they just 'need' something, anything from you in the way of content. If they don't get the blood supply/ emotional content from you, they will seek it elsewhere.

(Remember Dracula? He just moved from town to town taking it where he could get it?)

When you begin to break up he will fear the loss of emotional supply. He won't fear losing you so much as he will fear not getting his identity and his sense of self from you and/or the relationship. He fears the loss of self or 'who am I without her?' This is a very fragmented ego state -- one which only exists through relationships with others.

So when you try to break up, he may continue to contact you which is why they are hard to break up with. They are predictable in their approaches to get you to respond to them (you are feeding the vampire his emotional blood supply every time you talk to him!!).

These are some of his approaches and if you can get a bag of popcorn and just watch it like it was a LifeTime for Women movie and detach from it, you will see a whole movie pan out like this:

* One contact he's angry, blaming, shaming.
When you don't respond to that verbally or emotionally (think like you are lobotomized with no facial expression...that's what I want women to do with these men)

* Then one contact may be sweet, loving, buy you things or sending you things.
When you don't respond...

* He will promise to do what you've asked for years... go to counseling, church, take meds, be nice, go to anger managment.
When you don't respond...

* He will get angry again--say you aren't working on the relationship which is why it's gonna fail;
When you don't respond...

* He will quit calling for a while to make it look like he's moved on (They are boomerangs, they ALWAYS come back a few times.)
When you don't respond...

* He will indicate he found someone else or had sex with someone else. (possibly one of your friends)
When you don't respond... (Are you enjoying the popcorn and movie about now??)

* He becomes 'sick' -- he doesn't know what this mysterious illness is, or he has prostate cancer, leukemia, some other lethal disease.
When you don't respond...

* He will just go back to drinking/ drugging/ dealing/ driving too fast/ seeing prostitutes/ etc.
When you don't respond...

* He will threaten to kill himself, leave the area, never see you again.
When you don't respond...

* He will take the kids (or try to), drag you through court, threaten to physically harm you.
When you don't respond...

* He will tell you he's dating someone you hate or he's gone back to his previous girlfriend/ wife.
When you don't respond...

* He will tell you he will kill your pet he has custody of if you don't talk to him.
When you don't respond...

* He will go on the net and post about you on the exposure sites, making up the most outrageous lies and childish slander to get you to react.
When you don't respond...

* It will come full circle and will begin again, at the top of this list.

When I do counseling, it's all the same stories. Yeah, I know that women think that their experiences are unique.

But pathology is all the same. These people aren't very creative and don't deviate much from the strict internal structure that is associated with pathology. They ONLY react in certain ways so it's pretty easy to predict.

Once you are able to understand this, you can predict his sad/ silly/ stupid reactions to a break up (or exposure).

Since they live off of your emotion and NEED it, the sooner you starve him out by having no contact (unless you have to because of your kids but you adhere to no words exchanged and no emotional content on your face), the vampire will flee to the next available source to be fed.

When women don't disconnect once they understand the feeding and maintenance of pathologicals, they are doing it because SHE wants to remain. The ball is then in your court to figure out where you are still hung up so you can disconnect.

This is not a judgment about women not being able to leave. It is a POINTER to a place where the disengagement has hit a snag. Simply notice where the snag IS so that something can be done.
~~~~~~~~~~~

RELATED:
THE PREDATOR AS SLANDERER

WHAT HAPPENS TO THOSE THE CYBERPATH SMEARS & SLANDERS

Labels: cyberpaths, cyberstalkers, playing martyr, predator, projection, shame, slander, smear campaign

Remember the time when new netizens were discovering the joys of e-mail and chat? When we watched Meg Ryan in You've Got Mail log on and send messages to Tom Hanks. That was cool, way back in 1998, when that film was released. It explored the concept of what happens when the virtual world and the real world intersect at some point.

All that is old hat now. We send emails, we chat, we message, we scrap, we follow each other on Twitter, we scribble on Facebook's wall. We have SecondLife. The possibilities are endless. Your gmail inbox could be an excellent pointer. "Where are you now? I'd like to add you to my travel network”, says one mail. “XXX added you as a friend on Facebook” says another. There are join-us requests from at least three other social networking sites. And then, some blog comments that you have to moderate. So, cleaning the inbox could well take up an hour or two of your working day. All thanks to social networking. We live in an over-connected world, you see. Everyone's connected to everyone else and their cousin, thrice removed.

So, what's wrong with being connected? Nothing, except that we tend to lose perspective on who's a friend, who's not, and how much of our emotional investment needs to go into all this. Benign, harmless scraps, blog comments and messages are still tolerable. All you need to do is hit the delete button. But then, what about hate? What about those comments that hurt? What happens if there’s a sensitive person on the other end, who takes the hate personally?

Out of sheer curiosity, I log on to my Orkut account, and check out the hate communities. There are harmless "I hate to wake up early" to "I hate rain"communities. Soon, it turns ugly. And scary, if one may add. Take "Kill me, I'm fed up of my life" It had a whopping 3,000 members when one last checked. There's “Guns n Guts”, there's “I hurt myself; so you can't” with 7,000 members.

A web of distrust
One of the communities even suggests various methods to commit suicide. This community has a whopping 2,000 members at last count. Isn't this hate reflective of society itself? Surely, something's gone wrong somewhere.

According to psychologist Sonali Nag of the Promise Foundation, "Hate is a fundamental human emotion. As most other emotions, it is neither negative nor positive. It could be generated in response to something strongly repugnant to oneself and one's values. It could also be born from a sense of inadequacy. Both forms are seen on the Internet. It provides a screen to one's identity and offers a medium to express emotions with lower levels of restraint. ‘Snarking’ is an example of using the anonymity that the Internet provides to be snide and unrestrained in one's responses to someone else's postings. I would suspect that if one examined the personality of a 'snarker', one would find a sad, unfulfilled and frustrated person hiding behind his or her snarks."

There are hate communities directed at individuals and some very respected personalities at that. And then, countries. There was legal trouble when a ‘We hate India’ community was set up on a social networking site.

Omar Abdullah’s ‘alvida’
Social networking was also held responsible for the death of 16-year-old Adnan Patrawala from Mumbai, who was kidnapped and murdered by his Orkut friends. While social networking sites and blogs are excellent platforms for celebrities like an Aamir Khan or an Amitabh Bachchan to put across their points of view, they also make them vulnerable to hate comments.

You only have to check out Ram Gopal Varma's blog to see the kind of comments his posts elicit. But RGV blogs on, undeterred, responding to his readers sharply. But, then, it could get very serious.

Take the case of politician Omar Abdullah, who used the blog http://jknc.org/blog/ to air his views on Kashmir. He started his blog in mid-April, but by August, the comments and the hate got to him. His last post, titled 'Alvida' says it all. Sample this:

"Last night as I finished my last post I realised that I was filled with dread at the heap of personal abuse I was expecting when I logged on this morning and I was not wrong. We truly are a bunch of intolerant people. We want to be heard but do not have the strength to hear, we want to have an opinion but do not believe anyone else is entitled to one. So after almost 42 posts from me and more than 900 comments from all of you I am signing off and I will not be coming back."

Faceless dread
A clear case of cyber harassment. The nature of the Internet, as it is evident now, is that it is an open, free world, where everyone has the right to vent their views, or form communities without much social responsibility. The very fact that the bully is a faceless, unknown person, adds to the helplessness of the victim. Terror too, has spread its scary shadows on the Internet. Terror mails are sent from random IP addresses. As recently as September 2008, newspapers reported that a community called 'Indian Mujahideen' was banned from a social networking site, following the blasts in Delhi.

A presentation on 'Tracking terrorists in cyber space' made by J Prasanna, an Information Security Consultant, at a seminar organised by Digital Society Foundation of India, in Bangalore, acknowledges that most terrorists and spies indeed use the Internet. They use the Internet to leave a message on a website like orkut, Linkedin or a matrimonial website that looks normal. Only they understand where to look and what to read and it's difficult for others to find out. This is called a covert channel. Also, terrorists use anonymous proxy (with encryption) to transmit messages.

So, do we regulate the internet?
According to Na Vijayshankar, cyber law campaigner, the police are supposed to monitor any anti-social activities in society and can take action on their own. Vijayshankar, who is also the Chairman of the Digital Society Foundation of India, says the organisation proposes to act as a vigilante unit. He points out that his organisation even filed a PIL in connection with denigration of Gandhi on You Tube. "I personally try to keep the police informed. I strongly feel the police should maintain contact with voluntary organisations to act as cyber informers."

But does this not infringe upon freedom of expression and privacy? Agrees Na Vijayshankar, "It is a fact that sometimes privacy interests conflict with law enforcement."

However, Naavi cites a India Supreme Court judgment, which says “that the person’s ‘right to be let alone’ is not an absolute right and may be lawfully restricted for the prevention of crime, disorder or protection of health or morals or protection of rights and freedom of others.”

During the seminar on Privacy Rights and Data Protection in Cyber Space, he expressed the need for balancing the Privacy and Data Protection legislation with law enforcement and suggested that the forum would collect the opinion of experts and forward it to the government for necessary action when the Personal Data Protection Bill 2006 and ITA Amendment Act Bill would be taken up for discussion in the Parliamentary session.

“What the ITA 2000 fails to protect are cases such as 'cyber stalking' where privacy intrusion through e-mails or SMS messages creates problems for individuals. If such messages can be brought under "Obscenity" then it may be covered under Section 67 of ITA 2000. If it is indecent or threatening, it may be brought under IPC. This is essentially the protection that is available,” he points out in his presentation.

However, there is the issue of what constitutes privacy rights. When the police on a crime trail end up on a social networking site , there are commercial interests that try to block the police from accessing information which may be vital to solving the crime. Often the defense put up by the sites is that the information is protected by the ‘Privacy rights’ of someone else or that they are to be treated as ‘Intermediaries’ and should not be harassed, explains Naavi.

Which brings us back to that old question of freedom and responsibility. Particularly so, with reference to democracies, where one’s rights cannot be divorced from one’s responsibilities. Where there’s freedom, there’s responsibility. Now, if only those hate mongers understood.

Impact on children
As with all other aspects of helping children learn to live life completely, shielding them from cyber bullying is not an effective answer. An emotionally secure home environment that allows exploration and experimentation constantly backed up by support and introspection, would help them develop strong identities. A strong, self-accepting identity, would neither bully or be bullied, the psychologist explains.

The bullies and their victims

• In March 2007, high-profile technology blogger Kathy Sierra of the United States became a victim of cyber bullying. She received anonymous death threats on her blog and violent comments were made against her. Kathy was so scared that she stopped blogging. The incident triggered a movement in cyberspace, and hundreds of bloggers reported to have been victims of cyber bullying at some point in their online lives. An Anti- Cyber bullying Day was observed on March 30 that year, in protest.
• Another American citizen, Megan Meier, a 13-year-old girl committed suicide in October 2006, when personal comments on her looks and appearance got to her on a social networking site.
• Not many Indian bloggers would have forgotten the vicious personal comments and washing of dirty linen on the blogosphere, when a noted youth blog (youthcurry.blogspot.com) had a post about a management institute.
• Ironically, the Internet is also an excellent resource for parents who are worried about their children becoming targets of vicious attacks. There are websites dedicated to cyber bullying. Some of them include: http://www.cyberbullyalert.com/blog/ stopcyberbullying.org.

Stand up to a bully!
According to psychologist Sonali Nag, “It is an extension of the bullying that seems to be integral to the human predicament, be it on the school playground or between countries. The only difference between the school bully and the Internet bully, perhaps is that anonymity allows the cyber bully an easier chance of getting away. The bully is usually a coward who melts away when confronted.

Here again low self-esteem and deep feelings of inadequacy seem to characterize the bully. Interestingly though, the bullied sometimes, want the relationship with the bully to continue. For the price of being bullied, they gain the reward of being the bully's protege and of being protected by the bully. However, for those who want to be released from this form of abuse, the bullied can be empowered to stand up to a bully.

FROM

Labels: attacks, bullies, cyberstalkers, emails, harassment, hate, slander, smear campaign, threats, trolls