Getting Known Through Anonymity

Much has been said lately about how anonymity on the internet "disinhibits" people. Feeling relatively safe with their real-world identity hidden, they say and do things they otherwise wouldn't normally say or do in "real life." In some cases, that seems to be a good thing. People may be more honest, open, generous, and helpful. In other cases, however, the nasty side of a person gets unleased.

I'd like to give a slightly different spin to this "disinhibition through anonymity" concept. My basic premise is this: NO ONE WANTS TO BE COMPLETELY ANONYMOUS. No one wants to be totally invisible, with no name or identity or presence or interpersonal impact at all. Everyone wants and needs to express some aspect of who they are, to have others acknowledge and react to some aspect of their identity. In some cases, it's a benign feature of who you are. In some cases, not.

Anonymity on the internet allows people to set aside some aspects of their identity in order to safely express others. Snerts need someone to react to and affirm their offensive behavior. This need is a bit different than simply catharting their frustrated drives, as the "eros-ridden" idea suggests. Snerts are trying to express some unresolved and warded-off feature of their troubled identity in an (often desperate) attempt to have it acknowledged. Unfortunately, they do it in a way that abuses other people. Under ideal conditions, they may be able to accept and work through those inner feelings and self-concepts that torture them. If not, they will continue to vent that ooze through their online snert identities, while safely dissociating it from their "real world" identity.

Does greater anonymity result in greater deviance? It's an interesting question. Because greater anonymity usually is associated with less accountability for one's actions, the answer would seem to be "yes." (snipped)

The higher prevalence of misbehavior among anonymous users may be more than just a "disinhibiting" effect. Rather than the anonymity simply "releasing" the nasty side of a person, the person may experience the anonymity - the lack of an identity - as toxic. Feeling frustrated about not being known or having a place in the group, the new user acts out that frustration in an antisocial manner. They need to feel that they have SOME kind of impact on others. It's not unlike the ignored child who starts acting "bad" in order to acquire attention from the parent, even if it's scolding and punishment. The squeakiest wheel. Humans, being humans, will almost always choose a connection to others over no connection at all, even if that connection is a negative one. Some snert guests may think (perhaps unconsciously) that their misbehavior is a justified retaliation against a community that they feel has stripped away their identity and alienated them. They reject because they feel rejected.

In rare cases, people who are well known in the community may become the trouble-makers. Social psychology has demonstrated that people with power and status often have "idiosyncrasy credit" - they are given a bit more leeway in violating some of the less critical rules of the community.


http://users.rider.edu/~suler/psycyber/badboys.html

Labels: anger, anonymous, bullies, cyberbully, cyberpaths, harm, hate, psychopath, slander, smear campaign, sociopath, trolls

I feel strongly about the things I believe in. Sometimes I feel so strong and emotional about how I feel it gets me in trouble, as others that believe in differently make a point of telling me that. Trying to forcefully put me down, especially on the Internet, about how wrong my feelings are. That is fine. I am an adult and can take it. I was brought up to stand up for what I believed in and to fight for it.

When I was young, doing that was very hard to do;, basically due to conflicting opinions of my peers, how they felt and how they tried to convince me to feel as they did. Basically, it was peer pressure and much of it was simply trying to fit in with my peers.

Sound familiar? I think the majority of all adults are faced this when they were teenagers or younger. Make sure they wore the right clothes regardless if they liked them or not. Or listened to a certain type of music so that they could talk to the "clique" of those kids they hoped would be friends, even if the music grated on their nerves. To do drugs or not to do drugs. The majority of people addicted to drugs started in teenage years, just so they would or could fit in with the popular crowd. This sadly, is part of growing up, and what kids must face so many times, to feel the need of being accepted.

Growing up, these kids did not discuss these problems or feelings with their parents, as they thought (or their friends told them) their parents would never understand. Therefore, a great deal of the population of teens dealt with crucial emotional problems, even when their parents tried to help or understand.

I remember this as a child growing up, and now that my kids are grown and gone, they many times tell me of the problems they had that I had no idea about. They now realize that I would have tried to help and understand. But when they were teenagers, they felt (or were convinced) that would not be the case.

I know I am being a long winded here, something I am always guilty of, but the reason I am deals with the Megan Meier case, that she committed suicide and the final results of it. This site (see link) has always done an exceptional job of keeping myself and many readers informed on the Megan Meier MySpace case and the court trials concerning this. See: MySpace Suicide "Murderer" Convicted on 3 Counts

Megan Meier, a typical teenager in so many ways, yet with more overwhelming problems facing her as a young teenager of 13. (such as: concern she was overweight and how she wasteased about this; extra emotional problems such as ADHD; lack of self esteem; depression; the list goes on and on.)

Yet, low and behold, her life was suddenly lifted up by a young 16-year old named Josh Evans via MySpace. He took her to a new high concerning her life and how wonderful she was. Only to shatter it (which was the entire intention of the INVENTION of his face, name, photos of him, his 'caring words' which, and as far as I am concerned, was a "conspiracy") by saying to Megan "The world would be a better placewithout you."

Megan was devastated, and hung herself. The world now knows, there was never such a kid as Josh. Josh was a made-up character, and the one who made it up was a 49 year old woman who created a page for him on MySpace; after her own daughter told her of problems she and Megan were having (typical problems of young teen girls). So, instead of working these things out with her daughter as a mother should do, she decided to destroy Megan. Well, she did a good job. Megan is dead.

This decision of the Court to finally convict her with only 3 misdemeanors is outrageous to me. With the Internet being so vast and growing at lightening speed daily, this type of outcome will be sending messages to others that this is O.K. to behave like this. Especially when it comes to our protecting our children.

If we cannot depend on any Laws governing the Internet or Online Communication to protect us form this type of abuse -- such as cyberstalking or trolling -- then what the hell is going to happen if there is no recourse against this type of behavior concerning children.

If there are not laws to govern this, how long will it take to make and pass protective laws up and put them in place? A petition needs to be started on changing or implementing these laws Federally -- addressed to our lawmakers in Washington, D.C. If it was I would be the first to sign it.

What the outcome of this trial said to me, is in a roundabout way: "it is OK to harass others online." In short: what difference does it matter who gets hurt or dies for that matter? It's a free-for-all online.

How many more LORI DREW'S are there on the Internet that come into our and our children's lives via their keyboards and onto the screens of places like MySpace, chat rooms and forums? (One need only to read THIS SITE to find out)

Things have to change and fast concerning the Internet. Laws need to be tougher and strictly regulated. What happened to Megan Meier could happen to others. And as far as I am concerned, Lori Drew knew exactly what she was doing to Megan. She used a gun and pulled the trigger was transformed by the Internet. Not only that, she knew exactly how to aim the gun and had her target in full view. Excellent sharp shooting from 4 doors down I would say.

I wonder how many could be based next on the pitiful outcome of this trial!

Katie

Labels: conviction, cyberstalkers, harassment, harm, internet abuse, lori drew, megan meier, murder, myspace, suicide

A Missouri woman knew her 13-year-old neighbor was depressed and suicidal when she sent cruel Internet messages to the teenager, her former assistant testified. The girl killed herself after being told the world would be better off without her.

Ashley Grills, 20, told jurors Thursday she helped Lori Drew set up a fake MySpace profile of a 16-year-old boy to lure Megan Meier into an online relationship. Testifying for the prosecution under a grant of immunity, Grills also said she sent the last message from the fictitious "Josh Evans" to Megan in October 2006 on the day the girl hanged herself.

Megan Meier (left)/ Ashley Grills (right)
When she learned of Megan's death, Grills said Drew told her, "`We could have pushed her overboard because she was suicidal and depressed.'"

Testimony was to resume Friday in the case against Drew, who has pleaded not guilty to one count of conspiracy and three counts of accessing computers without authorization. Each count carries a potential sentence of five years in prison.

Prosecutors say Drew, 49, her then-13-year-old daughter, Sarah, and Grills created the MySpace alias in September 2006 to befriend Megan to find out if she was spreading rumors about Sarah.

The case is believed to be the nation's first cyberbullying trial. Its results could set a legal precedent for dealing with the issue of online harassment.

Defense attorney Dean Steward told jurors that Drew did not violate the Computer Use and Fraud Act — used in the past to address computer hacking — and reminded them that she was not facing charges dealing with the suicide. Steward has repeatedly asked U.S. District Judge George Wu to exclude testimony about Megan's suicide and twice sought a mistrial.

Grills, who helped Drew with her coupon magazine business, testified that she told Drew they might get in trouble for the scheme, but that Drew replied, "It was fine and people do it all the time."

Grills said Drew thought the MySpace account was a funny idea and was present about half of the time when Grills and Sarah sent messages to Megan.

Grills said she remembered at least one time when Drew sat down and typed messages on the computer. She also testified that Drew wanted to print the conversations between "Josh" and Megan, lure the teen to a mall and reveal who the fake boy really was.

To finally end the hoax, Grills said she devised a scenario in which "Josh" would move away so Megan would lose interest in him. When Megan persisted, the tactics changed.

"We decided to be mean to her so she would leave him alone," Grills said.
She testified that she sent the final message to Megan saying the world would be better off without her. Prosecutors did not ask if Drew was in the room when that message was sent, but Grills said she believed the message contributed to her death.

Grills said that a short time after finding out that Megan committed suicide, Drew and her husband ordered her to close the MySpace account.

The case is being prosecuted in Los Angeles because MySpace computer servers are based in the area.

ORIGINAL

THE MEGAN MEIER FOUNDATION

CLICK HERE TO DISCUSS THE MEGAN MEIER CASE

RELATED POSTS:

WEB HOAX LED GIRL TO KILL HERSELF

MYSPACE HOAX VICTIMS' FAMILY SEEKS JUSTICE

PUBLIC OUTCRY ON THE MEGAN MEIER CASE

A PERFECT EXAMPLE OF WHY EOPC RUNS THIS SITE

EOPC ATTACKED ON TV OVER MEGAN MEIER CASE

JUSTICE FOR MEGAN MEIER

SUPPORT FOR OUR STAND ON THE MEGAN MEIER CASE

MEDIA PEES ON MEGAN AND TELLS BLOGGERS ITS RAIN

THE MEGAN MEIER CASE

NO APOLOGY, EVEN IN DEATH, FROM MEGAN'S 'MURDERER'

LORI DREW: PREDATOR OR INTERNET MARTYR?

LORI DREW: HAPPY; MEGAN MEIER: DEAD

MYSPACE SUICIDE CASE: NOT OVER

MYSPACE SUICIDE CASE - SOME TRUTH AT LAST

LORI DREW - FINALLY INDICTED

Labels: ashley grills, cyberbully, harassment, harm, lori drew, megan meier, myspace, suicide

What is a Cyberpath? I have searched the Internet for a solid definition of a cyberpath, yet have not found a complete definition. I have found many sites that use the word cyberpath, and I understand what they mean and basically understand where they are coming from.

Cyber of course, is pretty much defined to the relationship of electronic communication, especially in relationship to the Internet in the ability to describe, voice, convey, etc. via a computer. From what I understand while trying to research this, the word Cyberpaths was originally used to describe how electronics work and the paths derived from there. For example, there is a site called Cyberpath, and it clearly has no relationship at all when we think of people as Cyberpaths.

Therefore, I am going to give my own definition of the word Cyberpath, so the reader can understand more of where I am coming from when I get to the meat of this blog.


CYBERPATH ~ People that possess a Narcissistic , Sociopath , or Psychopath personality disorder where they use the Internet as a tool against others on the Internet (their victims) in order to harm, bully, abuse, provoke, troll, torment, created conflict, destroy, damage, deceive, flame and inflame others for their own gratification , for example, seeking personal or financial gain.


With that definition in mind, it brings me to the heart of the matter of why I wrote this blog. The Internet is so vast and growing larger each and every day, and has become a enormous playground for Cyberpaths to prey and easily find their victims just by the touch of a keyboard and mouse. And their eyes are glued to the monitor until they get their "fix", spending hours and hours doing so, as their fix is what keeps them going, and many times, like drugs, it is an addiction to them, and needed everyday. And I for one, along with many others, hope to find away to warn people that can become victims to these Cyberpaths. I intend to be a "whistle blower" when it comes to these jerks, whether they be male or female. Thankfully, there are other sites set up that feel the way I do, and are much larger than my little blog and are full of information that helps warn people, educate people, help the victims, plus so much more, and I will be giving links for some of these sites within this blog.

Now readers, one needs to keep in mind when you see sites or blogs that are "exposing people", to be careful not to jump on the ban wagon of what you might have read concerning cyberpaths. Many times such sites, especially blogs, are by written by Cyberpaths, using their blog as a tool to gain people to follow their lead in their opinions expressed in their blogs that will attract or convince others, and can be expressed in such a way to confuse, yet lead others to their cyberpath side. Make sure that the sites you read or blogs in question, that they have proof of what they express when exposing someone, or have links they can provide to give you a better idea in forming an opinion. And if you use any reputable sites or blogs in order to help you expose your own story, make sure you are honest in whatever you say, as a good site will check your story out and will not (or should not) just take your word for it. Just because someone made you mad, or went against something you said or believed in, is not a good reason to exaggerate your story or tell untruths about the person you are angry with. Trust me, in the long run, this could back fire on you for trying to do this, and can come back to haunt you. But, if you do have a story to tell, and you are telling it honestly, many sites will listen to your story and try to help you in avenues of getting it across on the Internet.

If you are being approached or feel that you are in danger of a cyberpath, my best advice to you is to keep records of all communication dealing with this. Set up a file just for this individual, and place any emails, blog entries, forum comments, etc. in regards to a potential cyberpath. Actually, sometimes it might be several individuals, as many times they run in packs, but it is pretty easy to see who the leader of the pack is. Copy and paste, save all emails and screen capture as much as possible in case these things are removed later, so that you still have some type of proof. If you are not familiar on how to screen capture this link of MWSNAP is a great tool, especially if you are new to screen capturing. The best advice I can give you though is to google the person that is giving you problems, or their screen name or handle. Chances are, you are not the first person having problems with this individual, and doing a little research can really help you out before the harm is done.

There use to be a time in my life when I trusted people way to much, and I attribute that to having somewhat of a sheltered life and living the majority of my life in small towns. And when the Internet came into play in my life, I also found myself way to trusting. After getting burned, I became very leery of anyone or any site I come into contact with, and the first thing I do now is google or research their site or the person that concerns me, so that I can have a better idea of who or what I am dealing with. Doing so has saved me a great deal of grief, and a greater deal of knowledge. It has really helped me when it comes to deciding who my friends are on the Internet, or what sites or blogs I feel comfortable with. For those that know me well, already know I have googled them, and those that I refer to my Interent friends, or vise versa applaud me for doing so. I encourage them to do the same with googling my name.

In reference from the statements above, I am talking about individual relationships that one can get wrapped up into and then burned along the way. Now, I want to touch on other sites and blogs that are "whistle blowers" so to speak, that spend a great deal of time, effort and energy trying to expose and protect others from Cyberpaths. And trust me, when they do this, to me they are some of the bravest people known, as they stand behind what they do, and how they do it, as a great deal of time is spent to protect others from cyberpaths. Several sites were started because they were victims themselves, and have experience of what one goes through, and keep their sites up and running as it is just as important to them as the TV show "America's Most Wanted", or as important as scientist feel when trying to find cures to diseases. Cyberpaths are a disease on the Internet, and many are trying to stomp it out! And I am one of them. I am a WHISTLE BLOWER!

Now, with that said, let me introduce you to other Whistle Blowers who are concerned with Cyerpaths, whose sole intent is to help others who are already victims and also promote their sites so that others will not fall victim to a Cyberpath.

1. cyberpaths.blogspot.com EOPC (Exposing Online Predators & Cyberpaths) is run by FOUR (4) people, 2 of which are outside North America and one is offshore. These individuals reports almost daily on what is going on in cyberspace concerning cyberpaths, and the blog fights to protect victims of the Internet. This blog is very educational and informative. The blog is always in the middle of your screen and the focus of the blog is on predators who prey on other adults. On the left hand side of the blog is full of information and links to help you if you are a victim. On the right hand side, several links are given of the previous blog entries as well as links to other stories and sites to help interested parties or victims.(Or know of potential victims in the Cyberpaths wake) It is an absolute must read if you are interested in cyberpaths or are having problems with cyberpaths. One could spend days at this blog and be thankful that they did!

2. Fight Bigamy is also another wonderful site by Sandra Phipps who is the founder and she also was a victim of bigamy. Fight Bigamy reports mostly of vulnerable women who fall prey to men who are married, sometimes married to multiple woman, usually for financial gain, that take advantage of their victims. Majority of these women have no idea that their spouses already have other marriages intact. These perpetrators come off as charming, intelligent, successful, kind and caring, but the perpetrators real goal is to suck the victim in for their personal financial gain. This site has excellent links for victims that have fallen prey to this havoc, as well as links to help others that might be facing these cyberpaths. Another must read! Make sure you read the ABOUT Fight Bigamy page under Fight Bigamy!


3. http://www.lovefraud.com/ Another excellent site set up by Donna Andersen who was a victim herself, and spends a great deal of time and energy trying to save and salvage others that were (or could be) victims of cyberpaths in relationships of courting, marriage and love. This site has wonderful links dealing with what a sociopath is, how to spot a con man, Internet threats, Legal system failures, how to check out potential cyberpaths that might be predators, and super links to help one dealing with cyberpaths. The Love Fraud Blog is also a superior blog that gives advice and links to victims or possible victims.

4. Perverted Justice This is an powerful site that everyone needs to read and stay updated on. While the above sites I have given pretty much deal with relationships particular with marriage, dating, bigamy, etc., this site is all for predators going after our young children. There has been a great deal of controversy with how Perverted Justice does it job, as many people feel that this should be left up to individual Police Forces. I strongly disagree! Training the police to do what these people do (volunteers) to catch pedophiles would cost the tax payers thousand upon thousands of dollars to just receive the training these volunteers get. Perverted Justice has been in the news several times, such as Dateline and other many places in the news, and what they do has placed many predators behind bars, and have made their mark in keeping our young children safe. Like I said before, these cyberpaths are all over the Internet and having a place such as Perverted Justice to help up protect our children as victims falls into the category of superheros to me.

5. MILITARY FRAUD Review Journal on STOLEN VALOR: Acts of Dishonor has an excellent article concerning Military Fraud. I am really proud of people that expose people that fraud our government and our military. I think it is vital that the US people know who these people are as we want to believe all their heroic acts when it comes to battles and wars. The Military are people we count on and trust, and if they are not true to their cause and use false and fraudulent military experiences or war battle cries that are untrue, then I think it is very important that we know about that. How dare they take something so dear to our hearts and represent our country only as a way to self satisfy and belittle those that did die in the war. This is truly sad, so very sad. Stolen Valor is a book that I want to read, and will order it soon, as I am very interested in this subject.

There are many other sites that are "whistle blowers" set up specifically to expose people on the Internet, and I am sure I will be reporting more of these groups as time goes on. I am hoping that with the five that I have given that it will reach others, whether they be victims or not. A cyberpath that I know recently questioned me and what I do, and I quote her exact words ~"It is not up to you to police the internet". Here are my thoughts on this! It is up to me to police the Internet and will continue to do so if it saves just one victim, or comforts a victim, or educates, or alerts others of Cyberpaths. And I do not have a monopoly of policing the Internet, and hopefully more people will see the danger of these Cyberpaths and will help in this endeavor. And as far as I am concerned, we will never be able to conpletely warn or alert all people, yet, we will try, but if just one is helped or possibly saved by the horrors that Cyberpaths are capable of doing, then I feel I have reached some of my goals.

I am able to enjoy the freedom of having some type of status of who reads my blogs and what subjects are read the most. My blog that has been read the most, and is read several times everyday is PSYCHOPATH & SOCIOPATH DISORDERS. This tells me that many are interested in this subject and are victims, or know victims, or are at least trying to understand this behavior, especially when it deals with the Internet and Cyberpaths!

In ending this blog, let me say one more time again, I AM A WHISTLE BLOWER! Definition of a Whistle Blower usually comes into play if you are an employee, former employee of an organization, especially government or business related. While I do not fall into these categories, I do feel that I fall under the definition of someone who reports or exposes misconduct of others, or entities, especially in concerns when misconduct is a violation of law and a direct threat to the public at large, and when it deals with fraud, safety violations and corruption. Whistle Blower according to Wikipedia Therefore, when it comes to Cyberpaths on the Internet, I will continue to blog on CYBERPATHS and WHAT LIES BENEATH so that others can decide for themselves and at least, be forewarned.

Katie

Labels: behavior, bullies, cyberpaths, cyberstalkers, definition, harm, whistle blowers