Getting Known Through Anonymity

Much has been said lately about how anonymity on the internet "disinhibits" people. Feeling relatively safe with their real-world identity hidden, they say and do things they otherwise wouldn't normally say or do in "real life." In some cases, that seems to be a good thing. People may be more honest, open, generous, and helpful. In other cases, however, the nasty side of a person gets unleased.

I'd like to give a slightly different spin to this "disinhibition through anonymity" concept. My basic premise is this: NO ONE WANTS TO BE COMPLETELY ANONYMOUS. No one wants to be totally invisible, with no name or identity or presence or interpersonal impact at all. Everyone wants and needs to express some aspect of who they are, to have others acknowledge and react to some aspect of their identity. In some cases, it's a benign feature of who you are. In some cases, not.

Anonymity on the internet allows people to set aside some aspects of their identity in order to safely express others. Snerts need someone to react to and affirm their offensive behavior. This need is a bit different than simply catharting their frustrated drives, as the "eros-ridden" idea suggests. Snerts are trying to express some unresolved and warded-off feature of their troubled identity in an (often desperate) attempt to have it acknowledged. Unfortunately, they do it in a way that abuses other people. Under ideal conditions, they may be able to accept and work through those inner feelings and self-concepts that torture them. If not, they will continue to vent that ooze through their online snert identities, while safely dissociating it from their "real world" identity.

Does greater anonymity result in greater deviance? It's an interesting question. Because greater anonymity usually is associated with less accountability for one's actions, the answer would seem to be "yes." (snipped)

The higher prevalence of misbehavior among anonymous users may be more than just a "disinhibiting" effect. Rather than the anonymity simply "releasing" the nasty side of a person, the person may experience the anonymity - the lack of an identity - as toxic. Feeling frustrated about not being known or having a place in the group, the new user acts out that frustration in an antisocial manner. They need to feel that they have SOME kind of impact on others. It's not unlike the ignored child who starts acting "bad" in order to acquire attention from the parent, even if it's scolding and punishment. The squeakiest wheel. Humans, being humans, will almost always choose a connection to others over no connection at all, even if that connection is a negative one. Some snert guests may think (perhaps unconsciously) that their misbehavior is a justified retaliation against a community that they feel has stripped away their identity and alienated them. They reject because they feel rejected.

In rare cases, people who are well known in the community may become the trouble-makers. Social psychology has demonstrated that people with power and status often have "idiosyncrasy credit" - they are given a bit more leeway in violating some of the less critical rules of the community.


http://users.rider.edu/~suler/psycyber/badboys.html

Labels: anger, anonymous, bullies, cyberbully, cyberpaths, harm, hate, psychopath, slander, smear campaign, sociopath, trolls

“Cyber bullying” is a new term that seems to be a household phrase that is infiltrating many homes with teenagers and young children. While it is important to discuss preventative ways to deter these actions, it’s also important to understand why there has been such an extensive rise of cyber bullying.

Traditional bullying occurs in the classroom or on school grounds, but technologically savvy kids are taking their unsettling words to the Internet through email, MySpace, Facebook, other websites and text and instant messages. Cyber bullies are posting disturbing messages, videos and images of their contacts onto the web where millions of other people can see. Cyber bullies can also remain anonymous on websites and through email messages so the increase of bullies on the web is also rising.

The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention noticed a rise in cyber bullying. In 2000, only nine percent of kids ages 10 to 17 experienced this type of bullying. The percentage has now reached 50 percent for 2008. Another study shows that 64 percent of the teens that said they were the victim of cyber bullying were never bullied at school. There are a few reasons why this rate has increased so much. This age bracket is becoming more technologically savvy as a result of entertainment and their other interests going online. Schools are also teaching students how to use the Internet to acquire help with projects and homework. Social media groups also let these kids create a profile about themselves and easy ways to communicate with others.

i-SAFE Inc., a worldwide leader in Internet safety education, conducted a study to prove the rise of cyber bullying. Their conclusions showed that: 53 percent of the 1500 student surveyed have admitted to saying something mean or hurtful to a person through the Internet; 42 percent of those surveyed have experienced bullying online; and 58 percent of those surveyed have had someone say something hurtful to them online. Even more alarming, 58 percent never told their parents about their experienced with being bullied online.

While it may seem like a simple solution to prevent cyber bullying is to take away all computer privileges, many of today’s kids use these websites and Internet tools as another way of socializing. MySpace cyber bullying is a popular mode because bullies can post hateful information on another person’s profile page or on their own page, or a bully can create a separate profile just about bullying this particular person. Facebook cyber bullying is similar to MySpace cyber bullying because they can create fake identities or create a page with the sole purpose of bullying another person. Twitter is another social media network that is adding to the rise of cyber bullying. A user can “follow” another person to post status updates or send mean messages. Users can also post links to websites about cyber bulling as “helpful” how-to guides.

In extreme cases, kids are learning how to create their own websites, free of charge, to target a while site about bullying individuals. The person gains acceptance with their group of friends because they are humiliating the other person for everyone to see. Then, the bully will use MySpace, Facebook or Twitter to spread the word about additions to their hateful website.

Access to the Internet is also increasing. Local small businesses are offering free wireless Internet access for their customers as a marketing tool to increase their sales. Cell phones offer quick and simple access to the Internet. The Internet is offered in school libraries and classrooms for school work and educational tools. If your child is not allowed on the web while they are at home, of course they are going to find alternative ways to stay connected.

Some social media websites require the child’s email address and password to gain access into their account. This limits the ability for a parent to monitor their navigation through certain sites and some parents just aren’t involved enough to be concerned with what is going on over the internet. Without an open level of communication between child and parent, there may be another life your child is leading without you even knowing.

ORIGINAL

Labels: cyberbully, cyberstalking, defamation, emotional abuse, hurt, libel, slander, smear campaign

Cross Posted from EOPC

In light of Angela Buer, another similar prize-Cyberpath who came back on our radar in 2007 was Gridney/ Yidwithlid/ Sammy Benoit (some of his known online identities - none of them his real name)

We re-ran his expose from 2005 in summer of 2007 and it seems Gridney/ Yidwithlid finally found out that he'd been exposed. His repeat notoriety didn't thrill him and he decided to go after us, our friends at The Exposer and just one of his victims; making the ludicrous assumption that she was all of us! Of course she was caught completely off-guard, having zero idea what was going on until after we re-ran the expose.

It never fails that the exposed cyberpath thinks EOPC is run by their victim(s). They are so hyper-focused on the truth being out there and trying to smear & suppress that their narcissistic egos only see their expose and don't even bother to notice that whole long list of predators we have in our right hand columns.

Some, like Brad Dorsky, assume we are a bunch of petulatent teens on a bash-site. Well, if that's what helps them sleep at night...

In the interest of brevity we are going to borrow from our friends at the Exposer, their last post on "Gridney/ Yidwithlid.

(posted from THE EXPOSER with permission:)
A few months ago EOPC told us one of this online predator's victims was being victimized by him (he called it "a falling out" ha ha ha) yet again and she wrote a new blog with all the information on it called THE STUMBLING BLOCK. Its well worth a read because you can really see her devastation and emotional turmoil. Every victim could relate to her honesty!
It was an attempt to stop the craziness & lying by "J"/GRIDNEY/ Yidwithlid against her.

He wants her to control the internet and take down all posts about him - she tried. But he's going to continue to give her a public beat down. GRIDNEY/ YidwithLid. like all of them, even says the relationship was "her fault too" - never mentioning that this victim genuinely cared for him while he lied to her & had a hidden and malicious agenda towards her. (Don't they all?)

The site also has a post which GRIDNEY (who now calls himself "yidwithlid" or "Sammy") - put up and then erased, which whitewashes what he did (never talks about his major addiction to hookers, porn, phone sex, cybersex babes, etc -- all validated by law enforcement internet forensic sweeps) - and paints himself as a victim.

He removed that post from his blog and went right back to business as usual; stating he would 'not react anymore' and the 'subject was closed.' That post still remains HERE however. Sound familiar readers?

EOPC told us that GRIDNEY/ YIDWITHLID has a site which is nothing less than an outright hate attack on one of his victims, full of projection and accusing her of everything he did or is doing.. Like all emotional predators/ cheaters & womanizers (narcissists & psychopaths) - he blames her for everything - even when she has clear, hard evidence what she did and didn't do. After being called on his outright copyright infringment -- he took most of that site down but it still remains, rather than being deleted -- along with a libelous technorati profile - HERE.

She even reported to EOPC she begged an MSN support site in 2004, to remove her posts about Yid when that site owner told her HE WAS SURFING HER NICKNAMES AND COMING THERE TO READ WHAT SHE WROTE! (btw, the support site REFUSED to take down the posts and so did we as well as EOPC)

Yet he's mad and calling HER a stalker? Because WE support his victims and refuse to pretend 'it never happened' and allow him to continue to lie about we really happened.

Incredible!

To Clarify: that MSN group was a VICTIMS SUPPORT GROUP - so YIDWITHLID's just admitted HE'S a stalker!. He CYBER STALKED his targets and got mad that they were looking for support about what he did to them!

That MSN group? We looked -- His picture is there - BUT HIS NAME IS NOT! So unless you have even MORE victims YIDWITHLID, who might recognize you - you are angry over NOTHING!

MSN however, knows he was SURFING and stalking his victims from board to board! Monitoring their every word and emotional pain. What a GREAT GUY!

Hell to pay when you disagree with an internet predator's version of truth, right readers?
This predator also names her and blames her for everything but global warming. yidwithlid committed copyright infringment against our sites and EOPC. We have written to Blogger.com about it - so now this bully says he's making a bunch of new sites about his victim. To RETALIATE FOR THE TRUTH BEING OUT THERE

Why? Because he thinks: She is us.
EOPC told us he thinks she is them too!

He's scared of her because she's that OMNIPOTENT apparently.

This is so funny because this victim does nothing for either us or EOPC. Typical of a narcissistic predator's paranoia when their false image of being perfect & important is threatened. Which is exactly why this story is so important. It's textbook, readers.

He attacks & smears even after she tried to ask everyone to stop bothering him. Unfortunately - can't control everyone now, can you?

YID has only proved he committed copyright infringement as well as speaking libel and harassing someone who, to the best of our knowledge, probably has little to no clue what is going on or has moved from the situation for her own healing.

YID asserts because he was part of the chat that he owns the copyright. He does own part of the copyright to the chat only (which are wall to wall lies & manipulation on his part, and prove his victims had no idea what they were truly getting into) - but not our or EOPC's comments or commentary on the chats .

He can't revoke the copyright because it was published in 2005 originally by EOPC and they extended their copyright to us - and the permission of only one of the chatters or emailers is necessary - and EOPC got them from LAW ENFORCEMENT. bye bye copyright!

In fact: The Exposer did a little checking and back in March 2007, Sammy (yidwithlid's pseudonym) posted this on someone else's blog (along with some other thin-skinned sarcasm):

Posted by: Sammy Benoit | Mar 16, 2007 5:01:07
AMA copyright may be embedded into a bitmap or jpeg file with software on a Mac or PC. Also, there are several companies that can officially help copyright images so that it is documented.

If these two things are done, and a quiet agreement is made with whomever uses it, it should be pretty easy to please everyone, and misuse of it would be easy to spot and stop. Well, hopefully.@@@@@

So he does know about copyrights! Well, well, well.

No "I'm Sorry", no attempt to speak to his victims (he's got PLENTY of lame excuses not to) - just rage - telling his victims to MOVE ON because he has [of course he has, he doesn't want to apologize for destroying someone's life - since he's perfect and everyone else is just an object]... besides he started up with this new identity like nothing happened!

Just like all cyberpaths - nastiness - and childish emails like these went to EOPC:

From: Yidwithlid@aol.com
To: cyberpaths@gmail.com
Date: Sun, 24 Jun 2007 16:33:58 EDT
Subject: Re: http://stumblingtchatzkahs.blogspot.com

http://stumblingtchatzkahs.blogspot.com/....

From: Yidwithlid@aol.com
To: exposer@37.com
Received-On: 06/26/07 5:54 PM
Subject: Re: Exposer Requests You Remove Copyrighted Content Please

NO
______________

From Yidwithlid@aol.com by mo-m22.mx.aol.com
for exposer@37.com
Tue, 26 Jun 2007 20:54:21 -0400 (EDT)
Yidwithlid@aol.com X-Eon-Dm: dm08
Date: 06/26/07 1:54 PM

From: Yidwithlid@aol.com
To: exposer@37.com
Received-On: 06/26/07 5:54 PM
Re: Remove Content Please

No

But thanks for asking
____________________

From: Yidwithlid@aol.com
To: exposer@37.com
Cc: support@blogger.com
Received-On: 06/28/07 3:47 PM

Re: http://stumblingtchatzkahs.blogspot.com

cool two emails from you today thank you so much..
If you are publishing stuff that I wrote.. then who gave you the copywite...
I didnt.

and I didnt write them say so take off all references to me and I will take down my site

By the way Are you enjoying the Nut job convention [victim's name]?

Tonight I am going to open up three new stumling tchatches sites.

***************

This cyberbully who is such an innocent victim? He should be more careful what he puts on the net. The Exposer actually checks!!

GRIDNEY's got lots of blogs out there it seems and can't get enough of his own writing! He has accounts on aggregators, etc but the ONLY thing he ever puts out there or approves of are HIS OWN POSTS.

This one's from yidwithlid.typepad.com in past January 2007:

"January 21, 2007
New Peoples Choice Category: Most abusive of system

From two different sides of the world we wondered ....Who was crapping on our posts and yours. We had our lists of suspects but couldn't prove who was giving the bad grades ten at a time ...and how they were working sooooooo fast. Still have no clear proof. We do have some suspects . We googled the posts of one and noticed that there was one who would put up 8-9 posts one day, get them up over a hundred points take them down and repost the same articles the next day.

Then Sherlock Bagel Blogger found the a gun that was smoking even more. He put it in a much nicer way than me:

The awards known as the People's Choice awards seem to be finishing a lot quicker than most people expected.

I was going to hold on to this information until the results of the People's Choice Awards' became known, but I feel that it is not being honest to not divulge what I know.

I've debated with my self, my family and friends, should I or shouldn't I?

I also don't want to be accused of 'bitter lemons'.

I wrote a letter to another blogger and in the course of the letter I presented/made a table, now that I have made the table I feel something is seriously amiss.

I wont say what it is.

I'll leave the plain facts speak for them selves.

I have a PDF of the Google cache of 17th of Jan of the Israel forum's blog_best [rankings] which is now no longer available. [I have a copy and a html back up] and I have a PDF of the 19 th Jan 2007 Israel forum's blog_best
Thats less than two days apart

What's the main difference? Well check it out you should be able to see it, it occurred over less than two days.

The person is relying on no one seeing anything or saying anything. Well I won't say anything if you don't.

Well here it is in Table form:

Rank 19th Jan Blog Name Votes tally on 17th Jan Rank on 17th Jan Votes tally 19th Jan
Date last activity
Tally count difference
Up or DownPlaces
1 The Last Best Place 5224 1 5503 18th 279 0
2 Freedom's Cost 3676 2 3734 16th 58 0
3 Yid With Lid 5916 3 6066 18th 150 0
4 Samson Blinded 2359 8 3579 18th 1220 +4
5 Daf Notes 3993 4 4199 18th 206 -1
6 Bagel Blogger 4737 5 4949 19th 212 -1
7 The Maggid of Bergenfield 1092 6 1113 16th 21 -1
8 Simply Jews 6818 7 6978 18th 160 -1
9 Baleboosteh 2367 9 2422 18th 55 0
10 JoeSettler 2253 11 2255 17th 2 +1
11 Sarah's View 4317 10 4366 18th 49 -1
12 The Way I See It 3250 12 3279 16th 29 0
13 Divrei Chaim 1385 13 1404 18th 19 0
14 Orthomom 3016 17 3102 18th 86 +3
15 Chayyei Sarah 1592 15 1592 14th 0 0
16 Ask Shifra 1600 16 1616 14th 16 0
17 The Muqata 2078 14 2140 18th 62 -3
18 Slightly Mad 1425 18 1425 14th 0 0
19 Israellycool 4319 19 4440 19th 121 0
20 Lazer Beams 2230 20 2315 18th 85 0

_________________________
Here are snapshots of sections of the webpages in question:"

Well, waddya know! Seems he and this BagelBlogger are into watching who comes and goes from this 'supposedly' unbiased site and 'totally fair' blog voting.

And YID attempts to assert he has 'zero control or influence at this aggregator. ' LOL

CLICK HERE TO LOOK WHO'S AT THE TOPS ON THE AGGREGATOR!!

Yid With Lid VOTES: 26910
Bagel Blogger VOTES: 13649

If you click the link to the aggregator? Yid has MORE VOTES THAN ANYONE ELSE - almost DOUBLE! And the list appears to have numerous bloggers who haven't posted in weeks. Yid and Bagel Blogger are CAREFUL not to make themselves #1 and #2 - there's some rigging going on - this aggregator may be a fixed race for FRIENDS or ASSOCIATES OF THESE TWO ONLY! hmmm....

Sounds like YIDWITHLID controls his part of the internet, don't it??

Typical of all narcissists - they make SURE they are TOPS in their little online "club." sickening and childish... but that's a narcissistic cyberpath for you!

And here's a quote we found from 8/14/07 - on GRIDNEY (YidwithLid's) website:

I love the web's freedom. But with freedom comes responsibility. Certainly those who use the internet to harass or terrorize are abusing the freedom the internet brings.

Let us guess - if someone is exposing YID for the sexual & emotional predator, bully and liar he is - they're a terrorizer. Sure he loves the web's freedom - to prey on vulnerable women and dispose of them when they become inconvenient with no remorse!

But when HE terrorizes or harasses vulnerable women who actually CARE about him - he's a victim. Did yours do this to you, readers?

And if you want to prey on, lie to and manipulate vulnerable women and use them as sex toys to be tossed away when you're done - according to YidwithLid and all our exposed predators - That's FREEDOM!

The Exposer knows - FREEDOM isn't FREE. Nothing every really disappears on the net, no matter how much erasing you try to do. And where's your responsibility, YidwithLid and all the rest of you predators? For what you did to innocent people who had no idea you were using their naivete, compassion and vulnerability?

Did we mention cyberpaths are hypocrites? Now let's check out some of J/ Gridney/ Yidwithlid's terrorizing tactics:

"J"/ GRIDNEY /YidWithLid has his blogs set so:
1. you HAVE to have a Blogger account to comment;
2. no anonymous comments. He "says" its for the integrity of his blogs! B.S. He wants to be able to track & smear anyone who calls him on his lies - just like a predator - always protecting their "image." CAN WE SAY HYPOCRITE!

Yesterday I recieved a few "anonomous" postings about one of the writers who's work I have repulished on this blog. (someone whom I have only met via email after I posed one of his stories) The comments were very defamitory about this person.It is quite interesting that people who say bad things about others, like to keep their names and real emal adresses "anonomous" It tells me something about the quality of what they are saying. Anyway, those comments will continue to be deleted as I will not be a party to their acts.

Hold on! "J"/ Gridney/ YidwithLid doesn't use his real name! So that makes HIS comments anonymous. Smells like a double standard there SAMMY!

Don't make a cyberpath THINK about what they've done!! Goodness no! They are beyond reproach.
CHECK what he says to what apparently is one of his victim's friends on his hate blog:

Are you telling me that [one of my victims] posted my picture on the internet including MSN newsgroups as NYC******.

[One of my victims] signed the letter to the Rabbi At aish?

GRIDNEY TRULY IS PATHOLOGICAL!

And none of his targets EVER used the nickname he states on any MSN board.

Gridney/ YidwithLid has gone so far as to accuse his targets of being PREDATORS (can you say PROJECTION?) and says one purposely put him on a porn aggregator (uh... Gridney? Those are automatic aggregators that crawl the net for specific words... no one PUTS you on one of those! You can't even join one - the Exposer checked!) Guess ole' Yidwithlid does an awful lot of ego surfing, huh?

Gridney/ YidwithLid also says he's "MOVED ON and she should too." Right.... "moved on" is predator speak for 'shut up about the truth so I can go back to banging whores and picking up vulnerable women online.' Predators never care because they see everyone as an object.

Let's look at Gridney/ YidwithLid's version of "moving on" and "subject closed" - here's a message we would guess is for his victims.

"when people google your site they will find out what you have been doing for the past three years instead of raising your children"

The victimizing NEVER ENDS with Gridney/ YidwithLid, does it? He's the "gift that keeps on giving!" Great job of him "moving on" too, huh?

He also says he and his wife have "worked it out" - wouldn't you just LOVE to hear the twisted bullcrap he told his wife about these naive, caring, vulnerable women HE preyed on and sent to the hospital? Not the prostitutes he saw for FOUR YEARS, once a month - we mean the NORMAL ones. Like the one he knew over 25 years!

How CRUEL can one Yid be? And he, like all our predators just wants his victims to FORGET about the trauma like it never happened?

UNREAL, aren't these jerks! Which proves their pathological and uncaring nature to us over & over

GRIDNEY/ YIDWITHLID victimizes women, uses their good nature, lies to & manipulates them and when one of them figures his game out & that he's been using & abusing her for 2 years (and sent her to the hospital more than once!!) - he:

GOES TO ONLINE SUPPORT GROUPS AND FINDS & READS EVERYTHING THIS POOR TRAUMATIZED VICTIM IS VENTING ABOUT WHAT HE DID TO HER & HER FAMILY AND LOOKING FOR SUPPORT ABOUT... AND GETS MAD ABOUT IT!

WHAT A MALICIOUS EMOTIONAL & SEXUAL VAMPIRE!! See how ENTITLED these predators feel? They get MAD that their victims are HURT!!

Be warned ladies - is yours doing this to YOU?: As a victim -- you are 'out of your mind' looking for help and they are reading EVERY WORD YOU ARE SAYING?

And then you are a "nut job" for needing mental or emotional help after they take your heart, soul, your peace of mind and trust?

GRIDNEY/ YIDWITHLID, like all cyberpaths - sees only what makes him look like the victim.

Just look at more of the revisionist history Yidwithlid/ Sammy Benoit posted in 2008 about one of his many victims:

You were an old girlfriend of YWL from an upstate NY college. You used the internet to track him down after 30 years, which wasn’t too hard because he’s a published writer.

You had cyber-sex with him and then got him to agree to meet up with you. When he did meet up with you, to his horror, he saw that his ex-girlfriend from college had ballooned into a 275 lb fat pig with poor hygiene and he didn’t want to bang you. He politely excused himself by saying he couldn’t do this to his wife.

You then began stalking him and his family, driving by his house, sending letters to his wife, his parents, his in-laws, his rabbi, the police, anyone with whom you thought you could slander his good name. His poor wife was left with no choice but to report you to the police after you threatened to harm her children.

Sound familiar porkchop?

Law Enforcement sent EOPC a lot of information in late 2004 on Yid, after his Target #2 RELEASED it to us:

• this victim he speaks of in the quote above? Was NEVER his girlfriend... never went on a date with him... was just friends. In fact, in college Yid treated her horribly after he 'got what he wanted' from her, including an abortion.
  
• It has been forensically verified that Yidwithlid used CLASSMATES.com to track down this victim and possibly others. (Total opposite of his assertion)
• This victim was manipulated & lied to by him and had to do DE-PROGRAMMING from what he COERCED her into and still has serious, medically verifiable PTSD. (Did we mention a number of medical people have all the Forensically Verified info. on Yidwithlid also?)
• Yid saw prostitutes, advertised for sex partners , used his credit card on phone & webcam porn sites from 2000-2004 on a regular basis so he had no problem whatsoever "DOING THIS TO HIS WIFE" with anyone he could coerce or pay for. His assertions it was all 'planted' cannot be verified with internet archives or law enforcement.
  
• This victim has never stalked, harassed, driven by his home, etc. (BTW - Law enforcement alerted us that his wife has a number of companies registered at their HOME address due to her job and their address and phone is regularly posted on construction projects in the Tri-State area as CONTACT numbers. A little websurfing would turn up anything any wacko needed to know), nor did she have anyone "do it for her"
• Yid gave his spouse 'selective information' so she would use her contacts at their police precinct to have a Detective friend call and needlessly hassle this victim (imply she would be arrested, etc), not once but four times -- just after she came out of the hospital for trauma symptoms the first time - in an attempt to silence her. (NOTE: Yidwithlid didn't silence her because his favorite brothel was busted in a very public trial and allegedly he was ID'd by a couple of the 'employees' there after this victim Yid attacks went to police in fear for her family. Good going, Yid!)
  

Predators love to believe their mere words create reality. But now we know what Yidwithlid is telling people "really" happened.... LOL

So Mr. GRIDNEY/ YIDWITHLID (or any of our cyberpaths) - Tell us - what were your victims supposed to do? LIE & COVER MORE FOR YOU? AFTER YOU DESTROYED THEM?

These predators continue to amaze & astonish at their audacity. GRIDNEY/ Yidwithlid could care less he caused divorces, severe trauma and put one of his victims in the hospital! He just continues on with his baseless accusations & being indignant. (sound familiar readers?)

Predators are ANGRY at their victims. FOR TELLING THE TRUTH AND SEEKING HELP FOR THEIR TRAUMA.

List of the links on gridney/ YidwithLid (a long but MUST READ!)

Why should the truth slow any of them down?

By the way, on Yid's blog he says to email him your email address so he, himself can add it to his mailing list. There are automatic sites that can do this for you (example: Feedblitz) so why are we suspicious that Yid is collecting emails for fresh prey? Women who might like one of his articles and be somewhere his job sends him on business? Does his wife know this?

These Cyberpaths never stop.

How's that for sick?
The Cyberpath is the angry one who wants their victims to JUST FORGET IT so they can lie, never apologize, smear them and continue duping their family & friends? Yes.

And this story, readers is a perfect example.
@@@@@

Don't forget Cyberpaths! If you want help or want to write an open apology to your victim(s) just mail EOPC and they will be happy to help you change & make amends ! Send your apology to: Cyberpaths@gmail.com. If it's genuine - we'll be happy to post it!


yidwithlid

Labels: attacks, cyberpaths, exposed, harassment, narcissistic rage, predator, smear campaign, sociopath, threats, twisting the truth, yidwithlid

WHEN THEY ATTACK
by Kathy Krajco

(We have replaced the word narcissists with predators for clarity)

Professionals often say that predators "overreact" to the merest unintended slights and that they fly into a rage for the slightest reason. But this view seems anthropomorphic to me. I suspect it comes from forgetting that the predator on your couch is a pathological liar.

The truth is that predators attack for no reason. In fact, they are prompted to attack by anti-reasons.

Of course the predator on your couch says he did it in self defense! He whines that the victim said or did something to slight him or anger his tender, tender feelings. Were you born yesterday? predator = pathological liar. So, why do you expect him to confess to you that he is a predator = one who attacks any vulnerable target of opportunity?

I would hate to admit how long it took me to discover this, but in my experience, what triggers a predator Attack is nothing but a vulnerable target of opportunity.

Test predators. Parade bait before them when the coast looks clear so that the narc thinks later it will just be his word against the victim's. Then watch what happens.

You can push his Attack button by having the victim be very vulnerable, like say by showing great affection for the predator and giving a heartfelt plea for some in return. (Rather like a man I knew who asked a predator to marry him and got eviscerated for it.)

How does the predator react to what should evoke his love and affection? With a savage attack, that's how. Rather like any wild predator when you ring the dinner bell for it by giving it a swipe at a defenseless creature's soft underbelly.

Except that natural predators must be hungry at the time.

On second thought, I guess predators have to be hungry, too. But they always are. For, they have the kind of hunger that increases the more you feed it.

So much for the theory that predators are just too touchy. They ain't touchy at all.

Test that too. Indeed, try to provoke a predator. You can't. Go ahead, try.

The only way to get yourself a raging predator is to tempt it with defenseless bait when it thinks no one is watching.

Now that you have your predator raging, do one more thing. Have the victim rise up rage right back it its face.

Guess what happens? Presto chango! Rage off!

Instead of a raging predator, you now have a poor little meek and gentle angel who wouldn't hurt a fly and is heartbroken at the victim being so nasty.

Welcome to The Twilight Zone. I call this miraculous phenomenon "The Transfiguration."

I am not exaggerating. You witness the instantaneous substitution of one persona for its very antithesis in the blink of an eye. You don't know whether to pinch yourself or start throwing holy water at it. Because an Academy Award winner couldn't do that that fast.

It stuns you and gives you the creeps. Indeed, one facial expression doesn't melt into the other: the whole mask changes at once.

I call a predator's faces "masks" because when you see this happen you know that's what they are. You know that what's on the face is a lie. It's the Big Chill.

A stunning revelation. The predator's very face is a lie about what is really going on in the darkness behind that mask.

When [Predators] Attack
~~~~~~~~~~

EXAMPLES OF PATHOLOGICAL RAGE ATTACKS FROM OUR OWN PREVIOUSLY EXPOSED PREDATORS (please read):

EXAMPLE ONE

EXAMPLE TWO

EXAMPLE THREE

EXAMPLE FOUR

EXAMPLE FIVE
~~~~~~~~~~~

Starve the Vampire
by Sandra Brown, MA Author of "Women Who Love Psychopaths"

(with some minor additions - EOPC)

Pathological persons (such as CYBERPATHS) are energy and emotional vampires. They live off of your emotional content.

Part of their personality deficit is the lack of a stable and consistent inner core of a self concept so they need constant attention, distraction, and identity management from which they draw their identity.

Lots of their identity is acquired from their relationships since internally there is so little core self to draw from. This is part of the reason they are so exhausting.

In order to get their emotional 'blood supply' from you, they 'hook you' into conversations, arguments, or any other kind of response they can get from you. They live vicariously through your own emotional expressions of love, frustration, confusion, etc.

It doesn't always matter 'what' emotion is fed to the vampire (although narcissists like adoration) but just that there is SOME content is enough for them -- even your tears, or your screams, or your insults. It doesn't matter... they just 'need' something, anything from you in the way of content. If they don't get the blood supply/ emotional content from you, they will seek it elsewhere.

(Remember Dracula? He just moved from town to town taking it where he could get it?)

When you begin to break up he will fear the loss of emotional supply. He won't fear losing you so much as he will fear not getting his identity and his sense of self from you and/or the relationship. He fears the loss of self or 'who am I without her?' This is a very fragmented ego state -- one which only exists through relationships with others.

So when you try to break up, he may continue to contact you which is why they are hard to break up with. They are predictable in their approaches to get you to respond to them (you are feeding the vampire his emotional blood supply every time you talk to him!!).

These are some of his approaches and if you can get a bag of popcorn and just watch it like it was a LifeTime for Women movie and detach from it, you will see a whole movie pan out like this:

* One contact he's angry, blaming, shaming.
When you don't respond to that verbally or emotionally (think like you are lobotomized with no facial expression...that's what I want women to do with these men)

* Then one contact may be sweet, loving, buy you things or sending you things.
When you don't respond...

* He will promise to do what you've asked for years... go to counseling, church, take meds, be nice, go to anger managment.
When you don't respond...

* He will get angry again--say you aren't working on the relationship which is why it's gonna fail;
When you don't respond...

* He will quit calling for a while to make it look like he's moved on (They are boomerangs, they ALWAYS come back a few times.)
When you don't respond...

* He will indicate he found someone else or had sex with someone else. (possibly one of your friends)
When you don't respond... (Are you enjoying the popcorn and movie about now??)

* He becomes 'sick' -- he doesn't know what this mysterious illness is, or he has prostate cancer, leukemia, some other lethal disease.
When you don't respond...

* He will just go back to drinking/ drugging/ dealing/ driving too fast/ seeing prostitutes/ etc.
When you don't respond...

* He will threaten to kill himself, leave the area, never see you again.
When you don't respond...

* He will take the kids (or try to), drag you through court, threaten to physically harm you.
When you don't respond...

* He will tell you he's dating someone you hate or he's gone back to his previous girlfriend/ wife.
When you don't respond...

* He will tell you he will kill your pet he has custody of if you don't talk to him.
When you don't respond...

* He will go on the net and post about you on the exposure sites, making up the most outrageous lies and childish slander to get you to react.
When you don't respond...

* It will come full circle and will begin again, at the top of this list.

When I do counseling, it's all the same stories. Yeah, I know that women think that their experiences are unique.

But pathology is all the same. These people aren't very creative and don't deviate much from the strict internal structure that is associated with pathology. They ONLY react in certain ways so it's pretty easy to predict.

Once you are able to understand this, you can predict his sad/ silly/ stupid reactions to a break up (or exposure).

Since they live off of your emotion and NEED it, the sooner you starve him out by having no contact (unless you have to because of your kids but you adhere to no words exchanged and no emotional content on your face), the vampire will flee to the next available source to be fed.

When women don't disconnect once they understand the feeding and maintenance of pathologicals, they are doing it because SHE wants to remain. The ball is then in your court to figure out where you are still hung up so you can disconnect.

This is not a judgment about women not being able to leave. It is a POINTER to a place where the disengagement has hit a snag. Simply notice where the snag IS so that something can be done.
~~~~~~~~~~~

RELATED:
THE PREDATOR AS SLANDERER

WHAT HAPPENS TO THOSE THE CYBERPATH SMEARS & SLANDERS

Labels: cyberpaths, cyberstalkers, playing martyr, predator, projection, shame, slander, smear campaign

Remember the time when new netizens were discovering the joys of e-mail and chat? When we watched Meg Ryan in You've Got Mail log on and send messages to Tom Hanks. That was cool, way back in 1998, when that film was released. It explored the concept of what happens when the virtual world and the real world intersect at some point.

All that is old hat now. We send emails, we chat, we message, we scrap, we follow each other on Twitter, we scribble on Facebook's wall. We have SecondLife. The possibilities are endless. Your gmail inbox could be an excellent pointer. "Where are you now? I'd like to add you to my travel network”, says one mail. “XXX added you as a friend on Facebook” says another. There are join-us requests from at least three other social networking sites. And then, some blog comments that you have to moderate. So, cleaning the inbox could well take up an hour or two of your working day. All thanks to social networking. We live in an over-connected world, you see. Everyone's connected to everyone else and their cousin, thrice removed.

So, what's wrong with being connected? Nothing, except that we tend to lose perspective on who's a friend, who's not, and how much of our emotional investment needs to go into all this. Benign, harmless scraps, blog comments and messages are still tolerable. All you need to do is hit the delete button. But then, what about hate? What about those comments that hurt? What happens if there’s a sensitive person on the other end, who takes the hate personally?

Out of sheer curiosity, I log on to my Orkut account, and check out the hate communities. There are harmless "I hate to wake up early" to "I hate rain"communities. Soon, it turns ugly. And scary, if one may add. Take "Kill me, I'm fed up of my life" It had a whopping 3,000 members when one last checked. There's “Guns n Guts”, there's “I hurt myself; so you can't” with 7,000 members.

A web of distrust
One of the communities even suggests various methods to commit suicide. This community has a whopping 2,000 members at last count. Isn't this hate reflective of society itself? Surely, something's gone wrong somewhere.

According to psychologist Sonali Nag of the Promise Foundation, "Hate is a fundamental human emotion. As most other emotions, it is neither negative nor positive. It could be generated in response to something strongly repugnant to oneself and one's values. It could also be born from a sense of inadequacy. Both forms are seen on the Internet. It provides a screen to one's identity and offers a medium to express emotions with lower levels of restraint. ‘Snarking’ is an example of using the anonymity that the Internet provides to be snide and unrestrained in one's responses to someone else's postings. I would suspect that if one examined the personality of a 'snarker', one would find a sad, unfulfilled and frustrated person hiding behind his or her snarks."

There are hate communities directed at individuals and some very respected personalities at that. And then, countries. There was legal trouble when a ‘We hate India’ community was set up on a social networking site.

Omar Abdullah’s ‘alvida’
Social networking was also held responsible for the death of 16-year-old Adnan Patrawala from Mumbai, who was kidnapped and murdered by his Orkut friends. While social networking sites and blogs are excellent platforms for celebrities like an Aamir Khan or an Amitabh Bachchan to put across their points of view, they also make them vulnerable to hate comments.

You only have to check out Ram Gopal Varma's blog to see the kind of comments his posts elicit. But RGV blogs on, undeterred, responding to his readers sharply. But, then, it could get very serious.

Take the case of politician Omar Abdullah, who used the blog http://jknc.org/blog/ to air his views on Kashmir. He started his blog in mid-April, but by August, the comments and the hate got to him. His last post, titled 'Alvida' says it all. Sample this:

"Last night as I finished my last post I realised that I was filled with dread at the heap of personal abuse I was expecting when I logged on this morning and I was not wrong. We truly are a bunch of intolerant people. We want to be heard but do not have the strength to hear, we want to have an opinion but do not believe anyone else is entitled to one. So after almost 42 posts from me and more than 900 comments from all of you I am signing off and I will not be coming back."

Faceless dread
A clear case of cyber harassment. The nature of the Internet, as it is evident now, is that it is an open, free world, where everyone has the right to vent their views, or form communities without much social responsibility. The very fact that the bully is a faceless, unknown person, adds to the helplessness of the victim. Terror too, has spread its scary shadows on the Internet. Terror mails are sent from random IP addresses. As recently as September 2008, newspapers reported that a community called 'Indian Mujahideen' was banned from a social networking site, following the blasts in Delhi.

A presentation on 'Tracking terrorists in cyber space' made by J Prasanna, an Information Security Consultant, at a seminar organised by Digital Society Foundation of India, in Bangalore, acknowledges that most terrorists and spies indeed use the Internet. They use the Internet to leave a message on a website like orkut, Linkedin or a matrimonial website that looks normal. Only they understand where to look and what to read and it's difficult for others to find out. This is called a covert channel. Also, terrorists use anonymous proxy (with encryption) to transmit messages.

So, do we regulate the internet?
According to Na Vijayshankar, cyber law campaigner, the police are supposed to monitor any anti-social activities in society and can take action on their own. Vijayshankar, who is also the Chairman of the Digital Society Foundation of India, says the organisation proposes to act as a vigilante unit. He points out that his organisation even filed a PIL in connection with denigration of Gandhi on You Tube. "I personally try to keep the police informed. I strongly feel the police should maintain contact with voluntary organisations to act as cyber informers."

But does this not infringe upon freedom of expression and privacy? Agrees Na Vijayshankar, "It is a fact that sometimes privacy interests conflict with law enforcement."

However, Naavi cites a India Supreme Court judgment, which says “that the person’s ‘right to be let alone’ is not an absolute right and may be lawfully restricted for the prevention of crime, disorder or protection of health or morals or protection of rights and freedom of others.”

During the seminar on Privacy Rights and Data Protection in Cyber Space, he expressed the need for balancing the Privacy and Data Protection legislation with law enforcement and suggested that the forum would collect the opinion of experts and forward it to the government for necessary action when the Personal Data Protection Bill 2006 and ITA Amendment Act Bill would be taken up for discussion in the Parliamentary session.

“What the ITA 2000 fails to protect are cases such as 'cyber stalking' where privacy intrusion through e-mails or SMS messages creates problems for individuals. If such messages can be brought under "Obscenity" then it may be covered under Section 67 of ITA 2000. If it is indecent or threatening, it may be brought under IPC. This is essentially the protection that is available,” he points out in his presentation.

However, there is the issue of what constitutes privacy rights. When the police on a crime trail end up on a social networking site , there are commercial interests that try to block the police from accessing information which may be vital to solving the crime. Often the defense put up by the sites is that the information is protected by the ‘Privacy rights’ of someone else or that they are to be treated as ‘Intermediaries’ and should not be harassed, explains Naavi.

Which brings us back to that old question of freedom and responsibility. Particularly so, with reference to democracies, where one’s rights cannot be divorced from one’s responsibilities. Where there’s freedom, there’s responsibility. Now, if only those hate mongers understood.

Impact on children
As with all other aspects of helping children learn to live life completely, shielding them from cyber bullying is not an effective answer. An emotionally secure home environment that allows exploration and experimentation constantly backed up by support and introspection, would help them develop strong identities. A strong, self-accepting identity, would neither bully or be bullied, the psychologist explains.

The bullies and their victims

• In March 2007, high-profile technology blogger Kathy Sierra of the United States became a victim of cyber bullying. She received anonymous death threats on her blog and violent comments were made against her. Kathy was so scared that she stopped blogging. The incident triggered a movement in cyberspace, and hundreds of bloggers reported to have been victims of cyber bullying at some point in their online lives. An Anti- Cyber bullying Day was observed on March 30 that year, in protest.
• Another American citizen, Megan Meier, a 13-year-old girl committed suicide in October 2006, when personal comments on her looks and appearance got to her on a social networking site.
• Not many Indian bloggers would have forgotten the vicious personal comments and washing of dirty linen on the blogosphere, when a noted youth blog (youthcurry.blogspot.com) had a post about a management institute.
• Ironically, the Internet is also an excellent resource for parents who are worried about their children becoming targets of vicious attacks. There are websites dedicated to cyber bullying. Some of them include: http://www.cyberbullyalert.com/blog/ stopcyberbullying.org.

Stand up to a bully!
According to psychologist Sonali Nag, “It is an extension of the bullying that seems to be integral to the human predicament, be it on the school playground or between countries. The only difference between the school bully and the Internet bully, perhaps is that anonymity allows the cyber bully an easier chance of getting away. The bully is usually a coward who melts away when confronted.

Here again low self-esteem and deep feelings of inadequacy seem to characterize the bully. Interestingly though, the bullied sometimes, want the relationship with the bully to continue. For the price of being bullied, they gain the reward of being the bully's protege and of being protected by the bully. However, for those who want to be released from this form of abuse, the bullied can be empowered to stand up to a bully.

FROM

Labels: attacks, bullies, cyberstalkers, emails, harassment, hate, slander, smear campaign, threats, trolls

ONCE YOU EXPOSE THEM YOU WILL MOST CERTAINLY BE SUBJECT TO THEIR NARCISSISTIC RAGE. THE CYBERPATH MAY/ WILL DO THE FOLLOWING:

- smear you to everyone they can

- harrass you by phone or email or website postings (be sure to BLOCK their emails and instant messages or DO NOT REPLY - just save them. If they threaten you or your family, go immediately to the authorities.)

- minimize, whitewash or twist the truth about what happened between you to their friends, family, spouse, partners, co-workers, anyone who will listen (and accuse you of doing it; not them!)

- do everything they can to make YOU look like the sick, mentally ill or not credible person

- use their friends/ spouses in denial, other predators to help them discredit and smear you or harm you physical and psychologically.

- They may post on boards you belong to or hack a website if you have one. They may hack your computer, your email and alter or delete files.

- hire an attorney and give the attorney selective and or altered information to sue you for defamation and/or slander. (REMEMBER: the TRUTH is a 100% defense to this. 'Stay the course'! And to accuse someone of slander when it's truth can be actionable by law. If you allow a bully cyberpath to silence you, they will NOT leave you alone -- they will just push for more & more & more silence & concession for you)

- go to law enforcement, again with selective or altered information, to have you charged with cyberstalking or cyber-harrassment or worse. (again, stay strong - don't go out of control - and stay the course)

We can assure you that some of the cyberpaths profiled here come to this site NUMEROUS times a day and even fewer send us vaguely threatening email demanding to know who exposed them (we have YET to have to do this... and doubt we ever will; which is why we ask you to sign a release binding you to tell only the truth and provide proof)

They threaten to sue EOPC, click the "report this blog" button a number of times and even pretend to be other people or send their friends (or use proxies) to this site to try to covertly get information from us. The people running this site are adults, some who know quite a bit about the law and crime investigation. We are not all in the same country, either. Nor are we stupid.

They also threaten lawsuits, etc. They need to read EFF.org and some of our articles on this issue. We take great pains to verify information. We get a legal release from all our victims and we won't take down something because of intimidation. UNLESS WE HAVE VERIFIABLE INFORMATION ITS FALSE.

To the Victims - exercise caution. And expect to find yourself under attack. Be sure to tell everyone close to you what you are doing. And we support and congratulate you for telling the truth and embracing reality. Do not respond to your cyberpath - but certainly tell the truth when asked and wherever you can. Get therapy to deal with the stress of the aftermath. Anyone who believes the cyberpath is not your problem.

To the Cyberpaths - "Lie to everyone you can, if you must - but the truth remains - HERE! We know it, you know it and you can twist in the winds of your 'conveniently rewritten; realities but a lie is a lie. Be sure to read legal definitions before you accuse someone of slander or defamation and don't be surprised when it backfires on you."

The narcissistically injured on the other hand, cannot rest until he has blotted out a vaguely experienced offender who dared to oppose him, to disagree with him, or to outshine him.

It can never find rest because it can never wipe out the evidence that has contradicted its conviction it is unique and perfect. This archaic rage goes on and on and on.

-Group Helplessness and Rage Ernest S. Wolf, MD

For good examples of a couple of our Predators doing just the above and their victims trying to fight back, visit these sites:

ONE

TWO

THREE

FOUR

VERBAL ATTACKS OF THE SOCIOPATH

CROSS POSTED WITH PERMISSION FROM EOPC

Labels: attacks, lies, narcissistic rage, smear campaign, twisting the truth