Saturday, August 04, 2007
Case# 21 Emotional Blackmail On The Internet
Recently I have become very interested in researching emotional blackmail, especially in regards to the Internet. And just like everything else dealing with Internet horrors such as scams, frauds, trolls, stalkers, etc., emotional blackmail is rampant on the Internet. In all reality, people who scam, fraud, stalk and troll the Internet, generally use emotional blackmail when doing so in some form or fashion. Also, one can see a great deal of emotional blackmail on blogs and discussion forums and dating sites. Oh, woe is we.Examples of scams and frauds using emotional blackmail can be found over and over again in Nigeria emails asking for money due to some sad story, such as a death in the family, or accident and they need someone to get their money to the US for them, with promises of sharing the thousands of dollars for helping them. People actually fall for this and find themselves in financial devastation. Cyberstalkers and trolls use emotional blackmail when they are finally outed by writing blogs or going to discussion groups, where they give sad stories about how they are being wronged and they are the victim in order to save face. Dating sites have tons of emotional blackmailers and use it as a tool to attract the opposite sex, usually for financial gain, and besides being emotional blackmailers, they generally are also adult Internet Predators. EOPC Cyberpath Blog has dozens of blogs and information on this particular subject. Keep in mind, many emotional blackmailers use their own blogs as an emotional blackmail tool, believe it or not, just to get comments as the are in need of constant attention. These bloggers can also usually be found on several other discussion forums giving one pity party after another, mainly just for the comments they expect to receive, as this will fill their need for attention. This is really sad as it is sometimes the only way to have some type of fulfillment in their disfunctional lives.
Everyone is guilty of emotional blackmail to some degree. We use it with our children by saying things such as "If you do not clean your room, I am going to be very disappointed in you." We use it in many ways, but if you see certain emotional blackmail tools directed at you on the Internet, red flags should go up! You might want to stop and rethink about this individual.
If you find yourself in a FOG, by the emotional blackmailer, chances are you are becoming a victim of the blackmailer. In other words, if an individual manipulates you to somehow feel FEAR, OBLIGATION and GUILT, then you are probably dealing with an emotional blackmailer. BEWARE, as it can only get worse as time goes on. The emotional blackmailer uses many tools so that the victim will feel the effects of the fog. A few examples are making unreasonable demands to seem reasonable, or making immediate demands of you and expecting you to make an immediate response, manipulating the victim so that the victim feels selfish, comparing the victim to others that the victim does not like or approve of, pushing the victims "emotional buttons", realizing how much effort and pressure needs to be applied before the victim finally gives up and gives into their demands. There are a lot more tools the emotional blackmailer will use, but I think these will give you a general idea.
If you are in contact with a person on the Internet, and are starting to become concerned about their behavior, such as are they really my friend, what do they really want from me, etc., then keep these things in mind. Are they asking or begging demands from you that you do not feel comfortable with, and if you are resistant and notice that they continually pressure you, or even threaten you (threaten can come in many forms, such as high school jarb of "I will not be your friend anymore, etc."), or do you see a pattern of repetition with this person, or have noticed this person treating others the same way, chances are, you have an emotional blackmailer on your hands. Google them right away as this is usually repetitive behavior of an emotional blackmailer! RUN AWAY NOW, and run FAST!
If you still do not recognize they are an emotional blackmailer, then maybe this will make things clearer for you. Are noticing that you are starting to feel no longer important, insecure or bad about yourself and the reason you feel this way is due to the emotional blackmailer and what they have corresponded to you. Or are staring to question your own ideas and goals or are starting to feel isolated. Are starting to feel stressed out and unsure about your self, and it is affecting your daily life? If so, consider that a BIG RED FLAG. The emotional blackmailer knows exactly what they are doing and that is why you might be in a dark FOG! GO TOWARDS THE LIGHT! Get away as fast as you can and go find others who are genuine and stable on the Internet. Emotionally stable people do not want to try to control you, manipulate or intimidate you or put you down for their own personal gains. Stable people do not contradict you just for the hell of it, or abuse you, and then say it was all in humor. Stable people do not try to thwart your goals, but generally instead try to encourage your goals. Stable people do not act like your personal thoughts and achievements are trivial and do not try to increase their own power by making threats towards you.
Genuine friends on the Internet do not forget your discussions with them or forget promises and agreements made between the two of you, yet an emotional blackmailer will use this as a tool against you. And then when they do, they somehow figure out away into convincing you that it was your fault that they did so. Emotional blackmailers are players and will play on your fears, ambitions, sympathy, values, ideas, friendships with others, and so much more, all in order to control you until they get what they want from you. They can and will use tools such as threats to end their relationship with you, reject you and blame it all on you, or give you the "cold shoulder" and encourage others to do the same, all in efforts to control you for whatever reasons they have in mind.
The emotional blackmailer is in very close proximity to an Internet Psychopath, Sociopath or Dissocial Personality Disorder. Their overall goals are closely related when it comes to their victims. See Psychopath and Sociopaths Disorders for more information concerning this. A few examples, they do not have the capacity to maintain long lasting relationships, yet, they have no problem at all in establishing them. They are incapable of having any guilt feelings, and do not learn from experience of their problems on the Internet, nor do they believe they should be punished for their ways, as they feel they have done nothing wrong. They will blame you (or others) for any problems that arise, or give rationalizations for their behavior, and cry victim themselves. They convince people that they are not what others say they are and try to hook their victims in by pity of all the horrible things that have happened to them. And they do this over and over again, especially on blogs and discussion forums. They tell lie after lie if someone else tries to warn you about them, and they shift the blame to the party that tried to warn you, and then create stories of how the other person is out to get them and that they are the real victim in question! It is a NEVER ENDING STORY. My advise is to close the book and cut off all contact with them. As if you do not, they will rope you in, and you can find yourself in a miserable state of confusion as to what happened, not to mention the possible loss of finances, or in many cases a broken heart. Sad thing is, when people do finally let go of the emotional blackmailer, the blackmailer just searches for a little while and finds their next victim. Sadly many are going to be hurt by the emotional blackmailers on the Internet in many ways and in many forms.
There is a great deal of excellent information on the Internet concerning emotional blackmail if you would like to know more about it. Just Google "Emotional Blackmail" and thousands of sites will pop up on your screen! If you feel that you are, or might be a victim of an Emotional blackmailer, or know someone who is, I encourage you to read as much about this disorder as possible.
After getting a comment from Fighter 2, one of the 4 bloggers at EOPC Cyberpaths blog, I decided to edit my blog and include these links as they all are related to the behavior of an emotional blackmailer.
"Modus Operandi" of the Emotional Blackmailer
AFTERMATH: EMOTIONAL RAPE SYNDROME
THE LURES OF THE ONLINE PREDATOR
Labels: disorders, emotional blackmail, Fog, fraud, psychopath, scams, trolls, victims
Agent's Notes for: 21 Emotional Blackmail On The Internet
- Logged in @ Saturday, 04 August, 2007 | By
When a person with low self esteem hears this, however, it is like a blow to them. They are not confident that they will be able to make other friends so they do anything they need to to keep the one they have. It is very disheartening to see this. Like you, I want to say something but at the same time I think it is a lesson that some people need to learn the hard way and hopefully they will be more careful in the future.
Great post. I'm going to bookmark it on StumbleUpon so more people will see it.
- Logged in @ Sunday, 05 August, 2007 | By
yngathrrt
Thanks for commenting on this. I meant to add the characteristics of possible victims, but for some reason left that part out. And you are right about the things you listed. The list I was going to use were very closely related of people that are more likely to fall into the tenacious hands of an emotional blackmailer, such as people who do not have a great deal of self confidence, seeks approval of other constantly, goes out of their way to keep peace with others, will take the blame for what happens to others, has a great deal of self doubt, especially when it comes to their own sense of worth, abilities or their own intelligence. They actually feel that they need to give in to an emotional blackmailer as they have been convinced it is the right thing to do. The victims usually are very kind people and have a great deal of compassion and empathy and feels deep pity and obligation to others. These are the type of people that the emotional blackmailers seek out, and use them like a vampire would. With all that said, one can also see how children are a great risk of an emotional blackmailer also. Scary stuff.
- Logged in @ Sunday, 05 August, 2007 | By EOPC TEAM
http://cyberpaths.blogspot.com/2007/03/modus-operandi-of-emotional-blackmailer.html
http://cyberpaths.blogspot.com/2006/09/aftermath-emotional-rape-syndrome.html
http://cyberpaths.blogspot.com/2006/12/lures-of-online-predator.html
- Logged in @ Sunday, 05 August, 2007 | By yngathrrt
